The cycle

I am hopeless at this whole relationship stuff. I meet someone I like, and I think, hey, this is a nice eligible guy, why would he not like me as well? I live in an endless cycle of unrequited desire and love.

Last year at this time, I met a nice guy, hit it off, it seemed like it could have really worked and been something great. He was single, I was single, we got along, had everything in common, but nothing ever happened. I guess he liked my friend instead, when she refused him, he threw us both over and began dating someone else.

I met another guy, so sweet, so nice, got along even better with him...he was married.

I met another guy, a co-worker, and again, so right. Laughing, drinking, having a blast together. Someone I could seem myself settling down with, unfortunately, I was a few months too late, he had gotten engaged a month before I met him, and is now settled with someone else.

This is the endless cycle, I am doomed to repeat.

But maybe this time will be different, maybe this time it will all work out! Lets be honest, if I think any differently, or take a less optimistic mindset I may as well just crawl into a hole and stay there, because what would be the point? No being optimistic is my only option, I may keep getting beaten down but I am sticking to it, something is bound to happen if I keep at it, right?

How old were you?

Seriously, how old is too old to be a virgin?

Its gotten to the point that I just avoid the subject with my general friends, and if I am really hounded I've started to lie, but only if no one in the group knows any better. But I never, NEVER tell co-workers, for some reason, even if I am really close to my co-workers, its not something I want people I work with knowing.

Example:

I was at happy hour once with all my work collegues from a school I was teaching at when they started revealing the ages they lost their virginity.

"Oh I was 16!"
"I was 13!"
"Well, I waited until I was 17!"

Then it was my turn, and everyone slowly started facing me and staring me down, like this would be the best piece of information they would ever get me to spill. So, I lied.

"Uh, I waited until I was 23."

OK, its not a complete lie, I was 23 when I first ended up in bed with someone for a hot makeout session in which I promptly left once he fell asleep, it was the closest I have ever come, and probably the closest I'll get for the meantime. Lets say it was just fudging the truth a bit...right?

Well, after I heard their reactions, I've never been so relieved to have lied before in my life!

"Holy shit! you were 23! how did you wait that long!?"
"Geeze! Thats so old to be a virgin!"
"I can't believe you were 23!"

And you wonder why I don't tell the truth about it.

Its easy to get people to believe that I am not a virgin, because they assume that at my age I've had sex. Its just easier to let them believe. Because being a virgin doesn't affect the way I conduct myself at work, it doesn't affect my work ethic, I am a damn good employee, and a considerate co-worker. My sexual activities don't have any role in my workplace. And being a virgin doesn't make me innocent, and it doesn't mean I am naive or ignorant. I am open and adventurous. Just a normal woman, who hasn't been in a situation where she was comfortable enough to have sex.

What about you? How old were you?

Thena

The Lost Virgin

Dear interweb,

Two questions, how old were you when you lost your virginity? Also, what age is too old to be a virgin?

I need some help. I'm nearing 30, and a virgin. My luck with men and romantic situations is nil. For some reason I can't get past a certain point. This is an old routine, and I need some help here to move on.

This is a blog of comic romantic errors. Need some laughs and a boost to how you see your own life? Then I can help you!

So, what about you? What are your stories? Any words of advice for a trainwreck?

Athena